[Today is the day the journey begins. It’s raining. I want to look back for a bit. Still made some mistakes on the latest adventure, the one that ends today, but I made more good decisions than bad. I’m proud of myself. I’ve walked through the valley of the shadow of death until they and I understood that daylight is mine to command.]
15.07.2017, third day in UK, tabula rasa, white canvas, new born baby, the new life, new beginning, new chance. Being a new born comes with a lot of confusion, a lot of adapting to do, the weather, the time, the people, the language, the shops, society all together. Went shopping today. I should do this more often, it reminds me of things I could want, so it keeps me motivated. I should go for runs. Keeps me healthy and focused. Start a ritual! Keep writing. Try writing every week. Not much art in UK so far. I’ll talk about the vibe here soon. For now I just want to mention the clouds and the absence of the Sun, the Moon and the Stars. So far I’m doing it. I sleep, I eat, I work my way towards a job. It’s a one year project. I’m 3 days in, but it starts now. It always starts now, even in the last day. I really like Coventry. I’d like to move there. Oh yeah, I’m in need of a new direction. Oh, and, remember, as long as you’re getting closer to the mountain, you should be alright. Also, I’M IN FUCKING UK! Now, this one, I didn’t see this one coming. The weed is good, crossing the street is dangerous, everything has an order, technology is crazier, people walk in bubbles, crime is high, people are drunk, brits are low in numbers. No wonder they dislike immigrants. People are cold and depressed. I have no friends. I like that I hate it here. I need to be in a new place to hate. Still, I want to learn how to talk to these people. I wanna hear what they have to say. But all in due time. I’m a new born, remember? I got space to manifest. Getting from city to city is easy. Some products are good, some products are bad. They got cheap stuff, expensive stuff. Some music would be nice. Doesn’t rain that often as you’d think…so far. Sometimes you have to close your eyes for a while in order to be reminded of the beauty of it.
I feel undeserving, thou.
Nu ti se pare ca sunt doua tipuri de a vrea?
Somehow, just by not consuming, I end up having abundance in what I need.
Hmm, when I feel lost, I wonder if I’m looking for myself.
Also, I gotta meet up with simo.
What we need is we all walk towards the same mountain.
I do take pride in and honor my paranoia, my autism, my schizophrenia, my bipolarity, my OCDs, my lonesomeness, my anger, my ADD, my catatonia, my hypochondria, my constant existential crisis and identity crisis, my anhedonia, my low self esteem, my narcissism, my psycho and sociopathia, my multiple personalities, my hysteria, my terror deep inside.
I really gotta fight for this!
I like the sadness, I do.
You see, it has to be done part by part. And when you’re a certain part, you gotta do that part and not worry about the other parts you’re doing simultaneously.